Far From Showbiz

2010-05-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

Holy crap! I completely forgot about this thing!

damnit...

2007-03-08T02:19:00.000-08:00

Don't you hate it when, for one glimmering moment, things seem like they're really going to start picking up and the future is lit by a bright shining beacon of blinding hope, only for it to be cruelly snuffed out like sudden infant death syndrome?

Yeah, I hate that.

Meh

2007-03-06T23:45:00.000-08:00

I am aware of how stupid Blogs are... 's why I barely write in this one. That's all.

Whatever

2007-02-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

I have nothing to say... again.

Bunnies are cute... deal with it.

2007-01-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

I defy any of you assholes out there to claim that this game is anything but addictive cuteness...

Check the link:

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm

In the Year 2007

2006-12-31T19:50:00.000-08:00

New year... same bullshit

I Wanna Start a Doom Metal Band...

2006-11-14T21:39:00.000-08:00

...a la Evoken/Morgion/Nortt! Who's with me?

I'm on vocals!

These are good bands

2006-10-30T12:50:00.000-08:00

Nothing like some good ol' DOOM Metal!!!

The Funeral Orchestra
Evoken
Process of Guilt
Esoteric
Dolorian
Morgion

I look like these people...

2006-10-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

OMG shoes!

2006-09-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYnn51C3X_w

This is a good band

2006-09-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

http://fungoidstream.cjb.net/

Don't Touch My Cheese, Bitches!

2006-08-16T17:02:00.000-07:00

This game owns you. Play it. Now.

http://www.flashtrofe.com/Flash/Cheese.html

OMG an update!

2006-07-31T18:24:00.000-07:00

Look! I may write more later... I might have something to say this time. It's possible.

Wordseses

2006-06-21T18:14:00.000-07:00

I have something to say but it's going to have to wait until later, k.

2006-06-12T16:00:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to say at this time....

Beyond the Wall of Sleep (shameless Lovecraft plugging)

2006-04-26T02:44:00.000-07:00

I still dream about my hometown though I've only returned there once in the past 15 years or so, and that was about four years ago, and then only for a few hours. Just passing through. The row-house my family and I lived in is gone now, torn down along with all the others in the area, leaving dry dust where they once stood. I did get to see it again before it was done. It was empty. Lifeless. The house changes colour in my dreams. Sometimes it's the original light blue, or it's the light green they changed the siding to one year. Other times it's a vivid and deep blue. Sometimes there is a different family living there, while other times we've moved back in after a long time away. I once dreamed it was just my mom who moved back in. The layout is always the same as it was in truth. But it's gone now. And I still dream about it.

Sometimes I'm elsewhere in town, further past the elementary school in another area I also used to play as a kid, close to where the make-out rock is (or was). Except for the occasional addition of extra trees lining the sidewalks it's always the same. Sometimes I dream of the baseball diamond and accompanying race track. Or the apple orchard where I used to catch snakes. Or the elementary school itself. In every dream there's a common feeling during and after waking: an almost overwhelming sense of loss. I don't know why. It wasn't my favourite place to live.

I dream of a girl I used to go to school with. She was my best friend for 6 years until the friendship ended. I don't know why. But that's not the point. The point is we moved out of that town a long time ago, and to this day she won't get out of my head. It's not a sexual thing. It never was about that. But I dream sometimes that we meet again, in passing or in reluctant conversation, never as friends. Sometimes we're adults, or teenagers, even children again. The common thread through most of these dreams is that she is an actress. Not famous, just aspiring, sometimes having done small rolls in a couple of movies. Really I don't know whether she's even alive or dead. Out of curiosity I did a search; results inconclusive.

The town is Comox, BC. The girl's name is Suzanne Orvis. Now I wonder what posting this will set in motion? As for the dreams... perhaps that's just me trying to mend a piece of broken childhood? I wonder.....

The lie of American Idle

2006-04-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago the show had a Queen tribute episode, which is awesome cause Queen is one of the greatest and most original bands EVER, but one thing irked me about it. Chris what's-his-face did a lesser known ditty, one Queen has apparently never done live which indicates it's not one of their "greatest hits." It was an awesome song. Very doomy and dark. The lie: Be original. Simon claimed that Chris was being indulgent in choosing that song, and that it wasn't a good song to begin with. Now it would seem to me that in choosing a lesser known song, and one that doesn't cater to the chart hopping prima donnas of the world of the top 40 is about as original as one can get on a show like American Idle, because if these chits aren't singing top 40 they're vomiting that easy listening crap all through our cable networks. Real original. Yeah.

American Idle (or insert radio, Much Music, MTV) would have us believe that the only good songs on any given album are the ones relased as "hits" and that is disgustingly untrue, even amongst mainstream acts. Just as an example, the best song on Gwen Steffani's solo album is a little ditty that is reminiscent of Theatre of Tragedy (circa Musique and Assembly) and wan't realeased as a single. Though I can't remember the title it was indeed a kickass song. Mainstream needs a little more indulgence rather than playing label approved drivel. I remember N'sync (yes they suck, but just pay attention) came out with an album they had written on their own that wasn't quite as accepted by the media. In the mainstream that's a bold move, cause what artist genuinely writes their own music? I know plenty of artists claim to do so, but I'm guessing that their level of contribution in musical scoring is contained mainly in the lyrics department. They would have us believe they write all the guitar riffs, bass lines, keyboard/strings sections and drums? Bullshit. I doubt they have that capacity. Of course, this only really applies to solo/group vocalists, ie. Madonna, Britney, Christina, Destiny's Child et al. Real bands do write their own crap.

But I'm ranting. I'll just stick to the underground.

2006-04-24T09:48:00.001-07:00

I got this little ditty from the Cynic's Sanctuary "What are you cynical about" page. Some people just say the silliest things. Observe:

"Being dragged to church when I was a kid. What kind of God would force his followers to endure the same old service over and over again?" - I hate Sundays

I always find it funny how some people insist on blaming God for human short comings, as I'm quite sure it's not God's fault Christian church sermons are boring and repetative... or nonsensical for that matter.

The last of the personals

2006-04-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

Alright... no more inside information for any of you, except for this little ditty:

We have a new puppy! The other dog needed to be taken to the SPCA for behavioural problems and will hopefully be adopted by a family with more experience dealing with problem dogs.

So we went to Abbotsford to look at Weimeraner pups - and if you don't know, they are typically silver in colour with very ghostly eyes: some have sky-blue eyes all through adulthood, while others have green or amber. Currently all the pups have blue eyes, but as their parents both had green they might change later on. Time will tell. We chose the only female left out of a litter of 14 pups and she is absolutely the cutest and bestest pup EVER! Yes! Anyone else out there with pups, she's better than yours too. She hops, she skips, she bounces, she runs, she jumps, she gets hiccups, she terrorizes her new panda toy, and she sleeps. She's also recently discovered that the cat might be fun to chew on. He's not impressed. But for now he is bigger than she and can slap her down easy. Round 1: The Cat. Round 2: tune in later.

Now back to our irregularly scheduled meaninglessness.

This deserves a sigh...

2006-03-27T17:27:00.000-08:00

My poor dog. His left hind paw is bleeding cause I was an idiot and let him chase a stick on pavement. So now there's a bloody trail leading from the back entrance to my building up to the elevator, into it, and up to my door. Someone's going to think I massacred the poor thing. Oh well, I got my carpets cleaned up no problem and the bleeding has stopped for the time being, provided the dope doesn't go fucking it all up by licking constantly.

And I think he's starting to develope hip problems. All day today he's been kind of limping and holding out his right leg when he sits. And after the running he's all wobbly. I'll have to keep a close eye on him. The problem is I can't afford to take him to the vet. I'm worried.

He was supposed to go to the SPCA on Sunday actually. But then some shit went down and I still have him. I'll have to find another way. I wonder if they can pick him up?

update: Poor dog officially cannot stand up. I think his paw hurts too much. :(
I really hope it's not his hips as well...

Just a quick thought

2006-03-15T14:34:00.000-08:00

I was reading another blog written by ex-christians. The blog is intended to debunk Christianity, which I have nothing against really because I too have many biases against this form of insanity, but reading through it I had some (mostly unrelated to the subject matter) thoughts - astounding! I know!:

1. How come Judaism is never included in arguments against religion and God? Does their persecution in WW II afford them some sort of immunity from criticism? Is it because people will be viewed as anti-semitic? Why? I figure that if I'm anti-christian, then it's perfectly alright to be anti-judaistic too. Fuck it. And on that note, if you're going to be anti-religion you can throw islam in there too. Why not? The three are basically the same. I'm biased towards Islam though. Cause I'm muslim.

2. I don't think human logic is appropriate for explaining away God. It's entirely egotistical to believe that something that is decidedly inhuman and understood to be beyond human comprehension can be reasoned out with logic. Pretty much any atheistic argument can be reduced to this statement: "I can think logically, therefore God can't exist based on my logic." How arrogant. I can think logically too. And I believe in Allah. I don't think the human experience is the be-all and end-all of anything... it's too limited, and we're simply not built to comprehend certain things. Illogical? Maybe... but I have no faith in the human ego.

3. Some fellow gay folk out there turn away from their religions because of this single thought: "How can I believe in a God that hates me for being gay?" This decision is based on Christian (or Jewish or Muslim) hate mongers who continually proclaim that God hates fags, etc. But how is it God's fault when people decide to use their religion as a weapon and use/abuse his teachings to demoralize other human beings? Somehow it's the religion that becomes viewed as the problem. Not so. People and their ignorance are the problem, no matter their religion. I've encountered plenty of Buddhists who are downright rude and petty. I'm not going to go around claiming that Buddhism is evil because of it.

4. In Islamic countries it's fairly common to brutally kill homosexuals. Unfortunate, yes. But it's not the religion that tells Muslims they should do this. These laws regarding homosexuals are entirely separate from the Qur'an and, in fact, don't appear in the qur'an at all. There are a separate set of laws based on Qur'anic teachings which were written by fellow human beings. In my opinion, anything written by a human being is not tried and true, nor is it infallible, and therefore shouldn't always be trusted. I cannot believe that God would hate me for being gay and would demand my life because of it, most especially when it's other people claiming this is the case. Like you're so perfect?

It does say in the Qur'an that homosexuality is a cursed lifestyle, however, and is best not a lifestyle lived. I honestly don't disagree. And I don't believe that Allah stated this out of hatred or threat of burning hellfire. I believe passages like this appear in the Qur'an BECAUSE of the inevitable persecution, the hate mongering, and at times the sheer danger involved with being gay. Honestly, it's not always safe. What I get out of this is that, should a person be strong enough to turn away from homosexuality and devote his/her life to God (not necessarily turning straight) then that is good. But if you're not strong enough just beware of others around you. I don't get the feeling that it would be held against us if the latter is the case, as long as there is faith and we believe. Of course many people don't see it my way and they become staunchly anti-gay wanna-kill-alls, but that's not God's fault... that's just people.

5. On that note, other people base their disbelief on this line of reasoning: "How can I believe in a God that allows X to happen?" Well, even if you stop believing in God the shit is still going to happen, so... what is turning away from your religion going to accomplish? Does it make you feel better? Likely not. Besides, for us believers it's commonly understood that heaven awaits us after death (God willing), and that this world isn't the only thing we have going for us. So where's the tragedy? If I got run over by a Mac truck tomorrow I guess it would suck (cause that shit likely hurts) but I belive there's something better just around the corner (once again, God willing). This world we live in... it's meaningless. It's just the set up for what's to come. So when thousands of souls are swept away in a typhoon, just say a prayer for them and hope they're happy in their next lives.

To quote a line from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I'm such a geek): "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it."

Ok, that's enough for now... more thoughts as they come... whenever... or whatever.

A return to innocence would be nice... (with one slight piece of editing)

2006-03-14T15:54:00.000-08:00

(I recieved this in an email, and I find it tremendously depressing)

RESIGNATION

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again.

I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes,
mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my (RRSP) statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........

....."Tag! You're it."

Just some little things

2006-03-13T00:37:00.000-08:00

"No matter how much you accomplish, you're still [g]oing to die. And after death, nothing is as certain as the fact that you will be forgotten." - Mélancholique

This has appeared recently on the Cynic's Sanctuary, "What are you cynical about" page (spelling corrected by me). I like this. I think about this all the time.

Toronto Sun article link removed cause this fucking Blog sight wouldn't let me condence it into a smaller link with a smaller title, a la the link section over there. The reason I wanted to do this is because the http address was too long and was fucking up the look of the page. So I gave up and took it off entirely... I really don't fucking need complications like this right now!!!

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060311/D8G91Q8O4.html
Bible Study or strippers? Oh decisions, decisions!

mmmmmmm... that's all for now.

Nothing to say

2006-03-11T13:32:00.001-08:00

Post left unwritten due to several false starts and general lack of enthusiasm.

Time for a change

2006-03-03T16:50:00.000-08:00

I'm going to change my blog name. Maybe something else too. I haven't decided what...

It's a joke

2006-02-28T01:21:00.000-08:00

A man and his wife, their son and daughter, and the family dog walk into a talent agency. The husband tells the agent they have this great act that's sure to draw in a huge audience. The talent agent says to the husband, "great! Let's see what you've got!"

They all begin to rip off their clothes. Then once naked the Dad grabs the family dog by the hind legs and swings it at his wife. She grabs the dog's front legs in mid-swing and stretches the dog between herself and her husband. At this point the dog is freaking out and is yelping hysterically, at which point the children jump onto the prone dog's back, breaking it, and they all crash to the floor. Dad kicks his daughter in the face sending teeth and blood spraying all over the stage. Mom picks up the dog, still alive but broken and in severe howling pain, and bashes it over her son's head. The dog's teeth connect with her son's skull. Some teeth embed themselves in the bone and others go flying across the stage. The siblings strangle eachother until their tongues roll out of their mouths and they turn blue. Then Dad punches mom in the stomach until she throws up blood and she collapses onto the stage. When she's on all fours he fucks her up the ass and rubs her face into her own bloody mess. The daughter grabs Mom's hair and forces her to eat her pre-pubescent crotch. The son crawls underneath Daddy while he's fucking his wife up the ass, licks his balls and then punches him in the nads hard. Dad collapses in pain right onto his son's hard cock, so his son is now fucking him up the ass. Mom bites her daughter's twat then forces her to suck on Dad's cock, which is shitty from Mom's ass. Mom again picks up, the now dead, family dog and hits dad in the head with it, sending more blood and teeth flying across the stage. Then, just as the son is cumming in his Dad's ass, Dad cums in his daughter's mouth. They all three then tackle mom and kick, choke, punch her until she's dead. The son proceeds to fuck his dead mother while Dad bashes his daughter's head onto the stage until it cracks open and her brains are added to the bloody mix of teeth and cum. The unborn fetus that had remained in Mom's belly for the past year finally aborts itself and the son fucks that too. Dad takes the aborted fetus, shoves it up his son's ass and then fucks him, and for good measure, shoves his son's head up his dead mother's twat until he suffocates. Dad then takes a mighty shit and rubs it all over his dead family. When he's done he stands up and says, "Ta daaaaaaaaaaa!"

The talent agent says, "Gee, that's... really... something. What do you call it?"

To which Dad replies, "THE ARISTOCRATS!"

Julie's Fruit Cake

2006-02-20T10:24:00.000-08:00

(Julie is 83 and lives in Sydney, New South Wales under the kitchen table)

1 cup of butter
1 cup dried fruit
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup of flour
nuts
1 teaspoon of salt
1 bottle of whisky

Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check whisky again to be sure it really is of highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink again. Reapeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one spootean of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer, break two legs and add to the bowl. Chuck in the cup of dried fruits. Murn on the tixer. If the fruit gets stuck on the beater, pry it loose with a drescriver. Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticty.
Next sift two cups of salt - or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one bobblespoon of brown sugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mell. Wex mill? Grease the oven. Turn the cake pan to 350 gredees.
Throw the bowl out the window and go to bed.
Now that's getting into the spirits!

Simple Math

2006-02-15T03:16:00.000-08:00

Roses+Chocolate+Steak Dinner+Boyfriend = My Valentine

Ah ha ha! Evil and Villainy!

2006-02-10T02:33:00.000-08:00

Libertarians, Goths
Circle I Limbo

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Militant Vegans
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Scientologists
Circle IV Rolling Weights

General asshats
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

People who make feminine hygiene product commercials
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Rednecks
Circle VII Burning Sands

The Pope
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

The threat continues

2006-02-10T01:30:00.000-08:00

But before I begin with my next forray into the world of advertising I want anyone who reads this to check out my sister's blog, k. http://taxonomyofthought.blogspot.com I will add to my link section as well.

Now, I was going to talk about toilet paper. Yes the old global standby and wiper of asses, TP. Let's look at the big three in Canadian TP manufacturing from a case by case scenario, shall we?

Purex: Those lovable little dancing pillows marching down a shimmering highway of TP will be ingrained in my mind, or rather scarred upon my delicate cranial grey matter, for years to come. I can only hope for the early onset of senility. Oh, but God forbid that be the only thing I remember should that time ever come. Yeesh. See, it's the sheer tragedy of their situation that moves me. Here they are, those happy pillows, skipping along beside one another in seemingly blissful ignorance of the fact that they are soon to be viciously separated from their friends, scrunched up, wadded together and smeared all over the fecally besmirched surface of somebody's ass. Perhaps it is better they remain clueless, as I can only think that should someone reveal to them their ultimate purpose we would have a major coup on our hands. I would be on the side of the poor pillows.

Royale: Kitteny soft, I get it. But I'm left wondering as to the nature of the person who thought this would be a good idea for a TP advertising module. I mean, how does one figure out that TP is indeed as soft as a kitten? I'm thinking said individual would have had to employ a standard scientific test to deduce this theory before hand, which inevitably would involve a meeting of kitten and ass. Poor kitten...

Charmin: I'm sorry, I don't need to be told by dancing cartoon bears of how good the TP is going to feel on my anus. Nor do I need to see them actually doing the cha-cha with said TP. Just no.

And for all others: Trying to prove to us how soft the TP is by rubbing it on some dorky child's face is, a) not an effective demonstration as most of us will certainly need to be using it to wipe elsewhere, and b) possibly demeaning to the child. Were I the child I would be asking just what is meant by wiping tree pulp by-product on my face, when clearly it is meant for other, more base uses.

And remember, Europeans and other over-seas communities got it right when they introduced the boudet (sp?). Just wiping with TP is not enough, folks, let me tell you. If you dealt it, we can still smell it. So please, wash after.

oh what the hell.... ads in abhorrence.

2006-02-09T14:28:00.000-08:00

Sales Lady: "Does your pad sometimes get wet and sticky?"

Female Shopper: "Why, yes it it does!"

and on a related topic:

Woman who certainly has nothing to be happy about yet is: "I have a yeast infection!"

Clearly this spawn of unwanted information regarding the pitfalls of owning female genetalia has gone too far. With details such as this spamming our broadband cable networks, and various other modes of TV watching, it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to understand why any person belonging to the male persuasion of the human populace continues to hold any interest in the concept of muff-diving (my own term. Yeeeee!) while possessing full knowledge that at any moment a woman's tenders might sporadically become afflicted with raunchy period blocking devices and/or an overabundance of oozy yeast. This plague of feminine personal hygiene advertisements must end. And for that I am willing to lay down my life! My only comforting thought in this matter: Thank heavens i'm gay.

yep

2006-01-21T16:39:00.000-08:00

I'm taking down this first post as I am quite over it.